Saying good bye to Maggie…

 

Maggie guarding her domain…she loved to sit on the porch!

I am having a really bad time with this last post….I am sitting at the dinette in the rig at my seat typing this…I get up  to turn on the fan…and I look at Maggie’s seat expecting to see her…I still think she is here….and I can not explain what I feel when I realize once again she is not here with me…even tho I have had my loved ones pass away .…I was not living with them… not with them 24/7 like me & Maggie…maybe that is why I am at such a loss… feeling so alone this feeling is hardly bearable..and I talk to her all the time like she is right there…I go out the door from the rig to the house for a min…so she doesn't always go with me…I turn and say what I have always said at that time ….. I will only be out of site for a few min…I say…”you can wait I will be right back” and she knows it is ok to wait for me…I wont be long…it seams like I am carrying on our relationship just like it has been for last 9 years just like she is here….I have never been thru this…and wonder if this is normal…I have her ashes in a little box…people will think I am nuts if they see me talking to a little box…but that is what I do….

This is the Maggie I see when I open the door to enter the rig…when she has been waiting for me…

Well I think that’s all I will say about that for now…and move on to Maggie’s little funeral…and I say that because that is exactly what they made it where I took her to be cremated…I took her to a pet crematory (one vet office would do it but I was not at all comfortable how they did things) so I went with what my vet had already set up for me…

So on Friday morning daughter & S-I-L and I  went to pick Maggie up…took her to the crematory….when I walked it told them my name and they said is this little Maggie the Papillon…that was so heart warming and made me feel so welcome…one of the girls Sara…said she would come out and carry her in…I said we could do  it but  she insisted….then we met Matt who would actually work on Maggie…he told me he would clean her up and I could come and visit with her…when he came back to get me…kids couldn’t go …so I said that was very ok…I really wanted to be alone…Matt took me back to a little room…and there was my Maggie…they had covered a little tray like thing that looked just like a little casket with out a lid …with red velvet (I think it was red anyway) she was covered with some white taffeta with her new little blankie I had made for her…with a little packet of some kind with  flowers on it I think they were roses….she looked so sweet and beautiful ….then he said I will leave you alone take all the time you want….so spent my last time with my girl praying and taking to her in a beautiful setting with so much kindness and sympathy around us….it was very beautiful time and I was kind of on a high when I finally left…

Us Christmas day 2014 at the home park in Florida…our first selfie!

When I was ready to leave…I had been told we could return for her later in the afternoon to get my girl…this is a very busy place it cremates every day… and they do private cremations and that is what I wanted…because they also do our people  loved ones  as well as pets…he told me that he would wrap her in the blankie as I requested…gave me a copy of the prayer that he says over them at the time…he will cut some of her fur …by her heart …her back and ear…that will be placed in a plastic bag with poem that goes along with it…and a little silicon square with her tiny paw print…I had already picked out a little box that would hold her pic in the front of it…they were so very kind and considerate treating you with love and respect for your little fur baby…they reminded my of how the undertaker treated us when my brother died … I did not know it would be this way with my little doggie Maggie girl….I have to tell you it was a beautiful experience

As a post script…the other day I was walking up the street towards milo & lexi’s house they were on the sidewalk mama let lose of their leashes and milo took of like a streak running toward me…what a sweetie…I had a little toy bunny of Maggie’s hanging out of my pocket and he was curious as to what it was…so I took it out and showed it to him…he got ahold of an ear and tried to pull it away from me…I could not give him that one but went home and got him a toy of Maggie’s he grabbed it ran of with it…not even letting Lexi take a look see at it…Mama Terri said he has been carrying it around ever since…

Our last morning together a visit with Lexi&Milo…little did I know that less than 12 hrs. she would no longer be with me….

I love you my Maggie Girl…